今天跟大家推薦一篇經(jīng)典美文：如何在失敗中找到快樂(lè)，希望你會(huì)喜歡。
The introduction to a self-help book is almost always a spoiler: In the chapters that follow, you, the reader, will learn how to get a promotion, make a better first impression, save your marriage, or lower your cholesterol. This will lead to happiness.
一本自助類(lèi)圖書(shū)的序言幾乎總會(huì)吐露出書(shū)中的訊息：在接下來(lái)的章節(jié)中，作為讀者的你將學(xué)習(xí)如何獲得晉升，給人留下更好的第一印象，挽救婚姻或降低膽固醇的技巧，本書(shū)將為你鋪就一條通往幸福的康莊大道云云。
The Antidote diverges from this theme. In the first chapter, author Oliver Burkeman explains that after years of reporting on the field of psychology, he has concluded that "the effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable." Armed with this thesis, Burkeman sets out to explore various alternatives to this effort, which he calls the negative paths to happiness.
但《解毒劑：無(wú)法忍受積極思維的人如何獲得幸�！�( The Antidote: Happiness For People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking)一書(shū)與這類(lèi)主題背道而馳。在第一章中，作者奧利弗伯克曼解釋稱(chēng)，在從事了多年心理學(xué)領(lǐng)域的報(bào)道之后，他得出了一項(xiàng)結(jié)論：“很多情況下，為獲得幸福感而付出的努力恰恰使我們陷入痛苦之中�！北诌@個(gè)觀點(diǎn)，伯克曼著手探索各種不同于這種努力的替代方案，他將其稱(chēng)為通往幸福的消極路徑。
He asks questions. Are these negative paths too extreme for the average person to implement? Can a successful reorientation to a negative path be achieved gradually (I will try to accept humiliation as inevitable), or does it have to be sudden and drastic (I will actively humiliate myself, over and over, in order to diminish my ego)?
他問(wèn)了一些問(wèn)題。于普通人而言，這些消極路徑是否太過(guò)極端，以至于難以付諸行動(dòng)?成功地重新定位至一條消極路徑能否逐步實(shí)施(被人羞辱估計(jì)是不可避免的，我已準(zhǔn)備好了)?它是否肯定會(huì)是突然而劇烈的(我將積極且反復(fù)地羞辱我自己，以減少我的自我意識(shí))?
The Antidote has been reviewed several times over the course of the past few months. In an effort to separate my review from the others, I'm tempted to talk about myself. Like many recent college graduates working as underpaid interns, I sometimes feel out-of-sorts. Reading this book on my morning commute convinced me that failure is both inevitable and beneficial. But to dwell on my personal circumstances would be to fall into a trap that this book manages, effortlessly, to avoid.
過(guò)去幾個(gè)月以來(lái)，媒體上已經(jīng)出現(xiàn)了多篇與《解毒劑》一書(shū)有關(guān)的書(shū)評(píng)。為了使我的這篇書(shū)評(píng)展現(xiàn)出不一樣的特色，我想先談?wù)勎易约�。一如許多剛剛走出校門(mén)，從事待遇微薄的實(shí)習(xí)生工作的大學(xué)生，我有時(shí)心情很差，總想發(fā)脾氣。在早上上班途中讀完這本書(shū)后，我確信，失敗不僅是難以避免的，也是有益的。但過(guò)分沉溺于自身處境，將落入本書(shū)試圖以毫不費(fèi)力的方式設(shè)法避免的陷阱之中。
In a chapter titled "The Hidden Benefits of Insecurity, " Burkeman describes the human tendency to avoid insecurity and uncertainty at all costs. "But in chasing all that, " he adds, "we close down the very faculties that permit the happiness we crave." Here you might expect Burkeman to discuss the time he took an unfulfilling job that promised economic security, or the time he turned down a trip to Spain because he didn't speak Spanish. Instead he quotes the 20th century Catholic monk and mystic Thomas Merton, author of The Seven Story Mountain: "The truth that many people never understand, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you." Burkeman speaks to his audience in a way that establishes trust. He is a dutiful researcher and a listener. He quotes experts.
在“不安全的潛在好處”(The Hidden Benefits of Insecurity)這個(gè)章節(jié)中，伯克曼描述了人類(lèi)不惜一切代價(jià)，竭力避免不安全感和不確定性的傾向。“但在追逐所有這些目標(biāo)的過(guò)程中，”他補(bǔ)充說(shuō)。“我們恰恰關(guān)閉了那種使我們渴望的幸福成為可能的官能。”讀到此處，你或許預(yù)期伯克曼將討論他的過(guò)往經(jīng)歷：他從事過(guò)一份不稱(chēng)心、但應(yīng)該會(huì)帶來(lái)經(jīng)濟(jì)安全感的工作，也曾由于不會(huì)說(shuō)西班牙語(yǔ)而放棄一個(gè)去西班牙旅行的機(jī)會(huì)。但他沒(méi)有。他引用了20世紀(jì)天主教僧侶、《七層山》(The Seven Story Mountain)一書(shū)作者、神秘的托馬斯默頓的一段話(huà)：“一個(gè)許多人怎么也搞不明白的事實(shí)是，越竭力避免受苦，就會(huì)遭受越多的苦難，因?yàn)橐恍└蝇嵥榍椅⒉蛔愕赖氖虑闀?huì)開(kāi)始折磨你�！辈寺砸环N能夠建立信任感的方式與他的聽(tīng)眾溝通。他是一位盡職的研究者，一位傾聽(tīng)者。他所引述的，是專(zhuān)家的意見(jiàn)。
This is how we get to know Burkeman -- as a curious journalist rooting around for an argument, not as a born-again guru who uses his own story of suffering and healing to prove the validity of his personal brand of self-improvement. In each chapter he sits down with someone who has dedicated his or her professional life to exploring a particular negative path to happiness. He punctuates each interview with clear prose about human traits that make a negative path to happiness difficult to adopt. For example, in a chapter on methods for embracing failure, he writes bluntly that "perfectionism, at bottom, is fear-driven striving … [at] its extremes, it is an exhausting and permanently stressful way to live."
這正是我們了解伯克曼的方式：他是一位好奇心重、四處翻找論據(jù)的記者，而不是一位重生的大師——他講述了自己陷入和擺脫痛苦的經(jīng)歷，以此證明他所宣揚(yáng)的自我改善方式的確有效。他在每個(gè)章節(jié)中都講述了一個(gè)人的故事，這些人畢其職業(yè)生涯，探求一條通往幸福的消極路徑。每次訪談中，他總是以清晰的文筆凸顯那些使得通往幸福的消極路徑難以付諸行動(dòng)的人性特點(diǎn)。比如，在一個(gè)論述如何坦然接受失敗的章節(jié)中，他直言不諱地寫(xiě)道：“完美主義，究其根本而言，是一種受恐懼感驅(qū)動(dòng)的抗?fàn)�。往極端里說(shuō)，它是一種使人筋疲力盡，時(shí)刻讓人承受重壓的生活方式�！�
In the chapter on the danger of setting too many goals, Burkeman recounts meeting a man named Steve Shapiro in a bar in the West Village. Shapiro is a consultant who travels around the country hosting self-help seminars for business audiences. Unlike most consultants, Shapiro preaches against goal setting. He found this calling at a time when his obsession with career advancement had ruined his marriage. He argues that once you abandon the five-year-plan approach to life and business, you immediately have more focus and energy for the present moment. Pretty soon you are spending more time with your family and performing better at work.
在論述設(shè)定太多目標(biāo)所導(dǎo)致的危險(xiǎn)性的章節(jié)中，伯克曼講述了一位咨詢(xún)師的故事。這位名叫史蒂夫夏皮羅的咨詢(xún)師是他在西村(West Village，西村是具有反叛精神的各類(lèi)先鋒藝術(shù)家的匯聚之地——譯注)一家酒吧中遇到的。夏皮羅經(jīng)常在美國(guó)各地主持各類(lèi)以商界人士為受眾、探討如何自助的研討會(huì)。不同于大多數(shù)咨詢(xún)師，夏皮羅建議職場(chǎng)人士不要為自己設(shè)定太多的目標(biāo)。夏皮羅因?yàn)檫^(guò)于迷戀職務(wù)晉升、最終導(dǎo)致破裂之后悟出了這個(gè)道理。他聲稱(chēng)，一旦放棄你為自己的人生和事業(yè)設(shè)定的5年規(guī)劃，你就會(huì)馬上把更多的注意力和精力放在當(dāng)下的事務(wù)上。很快，你就可以花更多的時(shí)間與家人在一起，你的工作表現(xiàn)也將大有改觀。